Personally, I have a really weird habit of getting a negative self-talk always. I find myself into a deep state of mind where I am talking boundlessly to myself, saying things that I would never say to anyone. I beat myself up with all the words.
The power of positive self talk
We often need a “self talking time” to let our mind listen to what all we have been thinking. Day in and day out, our mind is flooded with thoughts that directs us to lead our life.
Sometimes you have to give yourself pep talks like “Hello, you are a badass personality”.
Self-talk is an event that occurs through the conscious part of our mind that sends orders to subconscious mind giving us the permission to go ahead. So, in order to provide instructions to our subconscious mind to start working for something to stay positive, positive self talks will in altogether tell something truth about yourself. Change your life by start talking to yourself positively.
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- Treat yourself as you treat a friend
You are such a “crap”.
You are so lame.
You should just hide yourself in the dark.
We never bring such words out when we are trying to support our friends going through rough times. Then why to use these words for yourselves?
For others it’s human to fail at times but for our own self it’s humiliation. Stop being this harsh to yourself. Whether you fail or succeed. Pat yourself on the back.
Take no shame in applauding you. And never feed yourself with negative cycles of self-sabotage. Talk to yourself as you would talk to your friend. When you bring supportive words for yourself during personal failing, you will feel safe and be more enthusiastic to make healthy changes.
2. Say bye to internal negative chatter
Does your brain start chattering and never seem to shut up making a bit noise up there.
Zen Buddhists refer to the constant chatter of the mind as monkey mind.
Buddha described the human mind as drunken monkeys jumping around and chattering non stop.
If this is the state of your mind you will never get into those positive thoughts inside your mind. Constant overthinking about negative things will make it difficult for you to make a switch to positive self talk. Just like when you are constantly told that you are stupid, you will start believing and observing the stupidity in your actions. Your actions will reflect the same as your monkey mind. So, silent those monkeys screeching in your head all day long to improve the quality of your self-talk, giving you clarity of mind.
3. Listen critically to your inner critic
We all experience that voice inside us that relentlessly whispers us reasons why we can’t do something and all the reasons why we can’t be something. We all have an inner critic. It stops us from thinking logically and dominates our behavior, beliefs and habits. This little voice becomes harmful at times and at other times greatly helpful. At times it can be helpful to keep us motivated to work towards our goal and what we are doing may not be wise.
A good place to start is by noticing when you are being critical about yourself so you begin to stop and change your thoughts. Listen critically to your inner voice and replace the voice of your own negative inner critic. Change how you view yourself — shout: STOP to stop whenever the critic pipes up in your mind.
4. Bring can’t out of your vocabulary
How often do you find yourself saying I can’t? Back then when I learnt driving from driving school, I found it too difficult to manage everything while driving. “I can’t drive” was the only statement of fact that was fixed in my mind. But gradually, I realized it was just in my thoughts that stopped me to even try to drive alone. And I wondered what do I lack that is stopping me to drive. I changed the “can’t” to “can”, and today I can go driving anywhere. Bringing I can’t creates a limitation for us to prevail. Start controlling your self-talk by removing self-doubt and feel the difference. Telling yourself I can’t is a common negative talk that creates a mental block to achieve a task. And the time you replace your inner talk with something possible it will contribute to greater success. Turn around the challenge you make to yourself by claiming why can’t I?
5. Don’t let the vague fears drag you down
How many times have you been in a situation where everything seems to be against you? Many times we become fearful and want to run away from our fear instead of taking a step ahead. It’s often more scary when the fears are vague.
So what can you do? Try to know the worst thing that could happen in this situation. Start by looking at it to realize the worst that could happen is not really bad. I would really suggest you to keep your talks in sync with moving forward and not let vague fearful talks paralyze you from reaching your goals. Make a list of things to take action on what you can do about the fear to become quite a bit smaller. Sometimes, you just need to take a chance for the goal you want.
Everyone is willing to improve themselves on what they have. Start loving yourself to improve your imperfections and bringing the best out on the table. Love yourself for all that you do and everything that you are, the better you will be at practicing positive self-talk.
Vartika Kashyap is the Marketing Manager at ProofHub and has been one of the LinkedIn Top Voices in 2017. Her articles are inspired by office situations and work-related events. She likes to write about productivity, team building, work culture, leadership, entrepreneurship among others and contributing to a better workplace is what makes her click.